


The Perils of Childhood Nostalgia

by daymarket



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ba Sing Se, Brainwashing, Childhood, Earth Kingdom, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daymarket/pseuds/daymarket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though the serving boy may call himself Lee, Mai knows full well that there's much more to him than just that. The question is whether or not she can do anything about it.</p><p>[AU: What if both Jet and Zuko were taken away at the end of <i>City of Walls and Secrets</i>?]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while extremely sleep-deprived, and while I have edited it rather extensively, I do hope that it makes sense. This piece is primarily an exploration of Mai.

Victory, as always, is thoroughly boring.

So they’ve conquered Ba Sing Se, defeated the Dai Li, and from Azula’s account, maybe even possibly killed the Avatar. All that’s very well and good, but Mai’s never quite been one for gloating in victory and rolling around in the subjugation of the conquered. No, that’s Azula’s job, and she’s doing a splendid job of it. She’ll be a fine queen someday, Mai thinks.

Perhaps there’s just the faintest edge of irony to that.

At any rate, while Azula crushes Ba Sing Se under her dainty heel, Mai goes wandering. Omashu was dull even on the best of days, but Ba Sing Se’s big enough that she can gain at least a modicum of entertainment by wandering its streets. The Upper Ring is essentially the Earth Kingdom version of what she’s been drowning in her whole life—scraping nobles, false flattery, the dance of politics that Azula loves but only serves to bore Mai out of her mind. The Middle Ring is Ty Lee’s favorite, of course, and Mai suffers through a week of being dragged through various shops and restaurants. The shopkeepers don’t dare to charge them, but there’s only so much of a new wardrobe that Mai can acquire before it all starts to look the same.

That leaves the Lower Ring. It’s a dirty, cutthroat place, and that suits Mai just fine. Someone tries to mug her, more fool him, and the rush of adrenaline she gets after teaching him a lesson is one of the most exciting thing that’s happened to her since the fight in the Earth Kingdom Palace. The people here are a refreshing contrast to the mincing daintiness of the Upper Ring, and while the food is terrible, well, that’s a relatively small price to pay.

She’s not expecting anything when she heads into just another teashop for lunch. It’s small and rather grubby-looking, and the menu, if you can call it that, is rather pitiful. She stares critically at the inked characters on the board and decides on green tea and a bowl of noodles. You can never go wrong with those.

“Can I take your order?”

She doesn’t look up from the board. “Yes,” she says, and her mouth is already rattling off the order before her brain catches up to the sound of that voice. She frowns and finally looks up, directing her gaze towards her server. Her heart skips a beat, and she has to fight to keep her breath from hitching as well. He’s familiar. _Very_ familiar. His hair is longer and he’s dressed in Earth green, but she would recognize him anywhere even without the scar.

“Zuko?” she says softly.

He looks at her. She looks back, her pulse humming in her ears. There’s not the slightest hint of recognition in his face, not even a twitch as she calls him by name. “Sorry?” he says, his smile bland and polite. “I’m afraid I didn’t catch that.”

Zuko is a _horrendous_ liar. She knows this like she knows the weight of knives in her hand; she knows this like she knows Azula’s terrible cleverness. When they were young, every emotion showed on his face, and she always knew what he was feeling simply by the dance of fire around them. Azula had taken full advantage of that, of course, but Mai remembers feeling only a strange sort of envy and longing.

No. Zuko’s bad at lying, and never in a thousand years would he be able to stand there with that pleasant, docile smile on his face while looking at her like she’s a stranger.

“Um,” he says. The voice is familiar, the tone is not. “Are you all right?”

She swallows hard and shoves away the sentimentality. “Green tea,” she says, and her voice is flat even to her own ears.

“Very good, miss,” he says, and she hates the servility in his tone. “Anything else?”

“What’s your name?” she asks.

He blinks. “Lee.”

Lee? Why Lee? What is going _on_? “Go get the tea,” she orders curtly.

She watches him carefully for a reaction. Zuko would never stand for that, but this person, his strange doppelganger—he nods and gives a little half bow, and that’s it. He walks away, still smiling that stupid smile, and Mai feels a slow shiver work its way up her spine. She’s not given to dramatics in the least, but she knows when something is very, _very_ wrong.

She stays outwardly calm as he brings her tea over. Again, there’s not a single flicker of recognition in his face as he sets it in front of her and walks away. She watches him leave, the thoughts swirling inside of her head. Zuko hiding in the Earth Kingdom is one thing. Zuko hiding in the Earth Kingdom and not knowing his own identity…that’s another thing entirely. And where is General Iroh?

The mysteries never end, it seems. She fully intends to solve them.

* * *

He’s a serving boy in a teashop. He lives alone in a dirty little apartment. He’s a refugee who came here to Ba Sing Se like so many others. Mai figures these facts out well enough by herself, but she doesn’t want to risk attracting attention by asking too deeply. Her skill set is better suited towards the shadows, whether it be fighting or hiding, and people—well, people are irritating at best. No, for this, she needs someone charismatic to ask the questions, someone charming and playful enough to deflect attention.

Fortunately for her, her best friend happens to fit this criteria exactly.

“Wait, Zuko’s here?” Ty Lee whispers in disbelief when Mai confides in her. “ _Really_?”

“Really,” Mai confirms. “He’s been hiding in the Lower Ring for weeks at least, but I don’t know how long exactly. And Ty Lee—he doesn’t know who he is.”

Ty Lee frowns. “What do you mean? Like, he doesn’t remember you?”

“He doesn’t remember himself,” Mai says flatly. “He thinks his name is Lee and that he was born to serve tea. I’ve tried to get him into a conversation, but he just stands there like a platypus-monkey and asks me if I want buns with my tea.”

Ty Lee giggles, but she sobers quickly when Mai glares at her. “Oh. You’re being serious.” She ponders for a moment. “We should tell Azula.”

“No,” Mai says. The word comes out far quicker and sharper than she expected, surprising even herself. Ty Lee gives her an inquisitive glance, and Mai looks away, working her jaw. “I don’t want to bring an incomplete rumor to her,” she says after a moment. It’s not the real reason, but she can’t quite put her finger on what the real reason is.

She’s infinitely grateful that her friend doesn’t pry further. “Okay then,” Ty Lee says. “So. What do you need from me?”

“I need you to ask questions,” Mai says. “You’re better at the whole…” she waves a hand vaguely, “…people thing than I am. I want to find out how long he’s been here, and if he came with anyone. I can’t do it myself; people will wonder why.”

“But I can?” Ty Lee says with a wry smile.

Mai shrugs. “Ask the proprietor about his life. Act like you’re interested in him. You can pull it off, but people will never believe me if I say that.” _Even if it’s true_.

She ruthlessly shoves that thought down.

Ty Lee’s not smiling anymore. Her large eyes are serious and contemplative, and Mai meets her gaze squarely. Mai doesn’t believe in any deity or aura or whatever nonsense that people spew out these days, but she does believe in her friend. Ty Lee’s expression holds an understanding that doesn’t need to be spoken out loud, and Mai takes comfort from that.

“Okay,” Ty Lee says. She shakes herself all over, and Mai takes a step back as Ty Lee does a quick backflip, landing neatly on her feet. As she straightens up, she gives Mai a wide, flirtatious smile. “So,” she says, and Mai notes how her voice goes higher, more girlish. “Sir, do you know anything about that boy over there? I’d like to talk to him, but he seems really shy, and I’m…” she trails off, her hand moving up as if to cover a blush. There’s no blush, but Ty Lee’s convincing enough that Mai can almost see it.

“Perfect,” Mai says. She keeps her voice level. “They’ll believe you in no time.”

Ty Lee’s smile changes into something more genuine, almost sad. Wordlessly, she reaches out in a silent gesture. Mai doesn’t question or complain as she reaches out and accepts the hug.

* * *

She sits with a cup of lukewarm tea in her hands, listening as Ty Lee teases out information: first from the proprietor, who utterly falls for the act, and then from a stumbling Zuko. Lee? Whoever he is. She focuses on the still liquid in the cup as Ty Lee giggles in the background, managing to wrangle an invitation to a date from Zuko. He sounds lost and confused as he accepts, and Mai’s not sure how to feel about that, or if she should be feeling anything at all.

Focus on the mystery, she reminds herself starkly. Understand why he’s here. You can work out the rest later.

With a last, flirtatious laugh, Ty Lee exits the teashop. Mai lifts her head up from the cup and watches as Zuko stands there with the tray in hand, staring out after her like he can’t quite believe what just happened. The look on his face is familiar, even if the rest of him isn’t.

It’s nostalgic, almost.

She looks back down at her teacup, swirling idly at the liquid. She waits a couple minutes, long enough so it doesn’t seem odd, before she stands up and walks out of the teashop. Ty Lee’s nowhere to be seen, but Mai continues walking, trusting that Ty Lee will find her. Sure enough, it’s not long before Ty Lee sidles casually up to her, looking like the picture of winsome innocence. As they duck into an alley, the cheer melts off of Ty Lee’s face.

“Well?” Mai says, keeping the impatience from her voice.

“He came here with an older man who the proprietor said was his uncle,” Ty Lee says. “That’s got to be General Iroh. Anyway, a while ago, he got into a fight with another boy, and they were both taken away by the Dai Li. His uncle disappeared the next morning. Zuko only returned a few weeks ago, and he’s been working here ever since.”

Mai’s eyes narrow as she latches onto a particular phrase. “The Dai Li? What do you mean, _taken away_?”

Ty Lee lowers her voice. “Apparently they take people away a lot, and they come back…different. He didn’t want to say much about it. They take away those who make trouble, and when they come back, they’re…well, let’s just say that they’re not the same as when they left.” Her mouth twists, an unusually bitter expression for Ty Lee. “As you can see from Zuko, obviously.” She’s quiet for a moment before she abruptly brightens up. “But the proprietor assured me that Lee was a hard worker who gave him no trouble. Perfect prospect for a young lady! And Zuko wasn’t bad, he was…nice, if a bit clueless.”

“Yes, a moron who can do nothing but bow and scrape sounds extremely enticing,” Mai says caustically. She ignores the look that Ty Lee sends her way. “And the uncle—he hasn’t been seen since?”

“No,” Ty Lee says with a frown. “He was gone the morning after Zuko had been taken. The proprietor assumed that the Dai Li had come for him as well. You don’t ask questions when the Dai Li come knocking, it seems.”

Mai gives her a tiny, humorless smile. “I’ll have to change that,” she says.

“What are you planning to do?” Ty Lee asks.

Mai shifts. She can feel the weight of cold steel under her robes, and it’s a comforting anchor that helps clear her mind. “I’m going to fix this,” she says, feeling preternaturally calm. “And that starts with questions, and I’ve got so _many_ I’d like to ask. Do you think Long Feng will be in a receptive mood?”

“Well, he probably hasn’t seen daylight since we took Ba Sing Se, so…it’s anybody’s guess,” Ty Lee says with a small frown. She looks at Mai. “What’re you thinking of doing? Are you going to find him and beat the answers out of him or something?”

“If I have to,” Mai says.

“It’ll attract attention,” Ty Lee warns. She doesn’t say whose attention exactly, but they both know full well who. She places a hand on Mai’s arm. “Mai,” Ty Lee says softly. “What’re you trying to do here? What’s the endgame?”

“Must we all have monumental plans?” Mai says evasively. “I’m hardly Azula. Maybe I’m just curious.”

Ty Lee doesn’t say anything; her expression does it for her. Mai sighs. In an uncharasteric lapse of control, she scrubs at her face, dragging her palms across her face. As she drops her hands, she looks back up at Ty Lee. “I don’t have an endgame,” she says baldly. “I’m taking this one step at a time.”

“You’re going to have to tell Azula at some point,” Ty Lee says quietly.

“I will,” Mai says, feeling irritable. “Once I find out what’s going on.” As Ty Lee remains silent, Mai adds flatly, “She deserves to know. He’s her brother.”

Ty Lee continues to watch her, but Mai turns away. At length, she hears Ty Lee give out a heavy sigh. “Okay,” she says. “Fair enough. So the next step is to go to talk to Long Feng, I guess?”

“Unless you know someone else who can tell us the Dai Li’s dirty secrets,” Mai says. She turns back to face Ty Lee. “I’ll handle this.”

“All right,” Ty Lee says. She gives Mai a crooked smile. “I guess I’m busy, anyway. I’ve got a date with Zuko tomorrow, and I’d feel bad about missing it. He doesn’t need more disappointment in his life, I’m sure.”

Mai breathes in, keeping her expression level. “Of course not,” she agrees, and she’s proud of how calm she sounds.

* * *

She’s never liked Long Feng, and he’s enough of a slimy rat-snake that he deserves everything that he got. His prison cell is made of solid metal and for good measure, he’s shackled hand and foot. He’s been humbled some but not nearly enough, if the glare he’s sending her way is anything to go by. Mai stares back at him. She was thoroughly unimpressed before, and now she can add deepest irritation to all this as well.

“I’m surprised you managed to keep power at all,” she says disdainfully. “Look at you.”

He spits at her. It falls short, just like the rest of him. “Has your princess sent you down here to gloat?”

“Azula gloats on her own just fine. This is purely personal,” Mai says. She leans against the wall, noting how his eyes track her every moment. “The Dai Li were more than happy to turn on you. I was surprised, actually, at how fast they turned.”

Long Feng sneers at her. “Their decision has brought this city to ruin.”

Mai raps on the metal of the cage pointedly. “The city’s fine. You, on the other hand, are trapped in a metal box, so all in all I’d say that the Dai Li got the better end of the deal. They must’ve hated you all along. What did you do, kill their firstborn children?”

“I did what I had to do,” Long Feng snarls. So low and yet still so proud. Well, Azula will fix that, and if she doesn’t, Mai will be more than happy to finish the job. “I am in charge of protecting this city, and that’s what I did. I kept war from coming into our walls, and it was safe until you and your ashmaker princess came in and destroyed peace.”

“When we stole Ba Sing Se from out under your very nose, you mean,” Mai says, and it’s not hard to let the contempt in her voice show. “Azula was absolutely right when she said that you weren’t a player. She knows people, and she knows how to use them. What were your methods, mmm? Strutting about the city, relying on your secret police like a fool. There’s only so far _that_ ruse can go.”

“You _stupid_ little girl!” Long Feng hisses, and oh, isn’t that clever of him to pull out the insults. “I kept order in this city for years. I kept them safe from the war. Haven’t you heard the saying? _There is no war in Ba Sing Se_.”

“Like that’s something to be proud of,” Mai says with a roll of her eyes. “Everyone in the Earth Kingdom is a stinking sheep-pig who thinks the same way. Oink, oink. It’s child play to keep control, but you _still_ lost to us. Some master you are.”

She can hear the chains clink as he draws himself up. “Of course there were dissidents,” he says haughtily. “And we kept them down. You ashmakers think it’s all about brute force, but here, we changed _minds_. You could never do that.”

Mai gives him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “Oooh, you changed minds. How terrifying.”

He narrows his eyes. “Wait and see,” he says through gritted teeth. “One day, when I regain power, I’ll come find you. I’ll take you to Laogai and I’ll wipe you clean, you and your bitch princess. You’ll both grovel at my feet, and you’ll never know anything different.”

She doesn’t say anything, letting the expression of disdain on her face say it all. It seems to enrage him more than words could have ever achieved, which suits her just fine. He snarls at her, actually _snarls_ , and there aren’t enough words to express just how unmoved she is. “I’ll chain you down myself and break your mind,” he says, every word no doubt dripping vengeance. “When I’m done, you’ll be begging to obey me. No one has ever broken free of Ba Sing Se’s control.”

“Really,” Mai drawls. “I’m sensing a little defensive posturing there.”

“No one,” Long Feng insists. “And certainly not you, you pathetic piece of ashy filth.”

She ignores the insult effortlessly, focusing on his firm assertion. If it’s true that no one’s ever broken free, that would be deeply unfortunate. She suspects that he has more than enough reason to lie about the truth, though, so perhaps there’s still hope. At any rate, she’s not going to get much here other than his pointless posturing.

Well, that’s about enough of that.

“I’m positively _terrified_ ,” she says tonelessly. “I await the day when you have any sort of power again.” She gives Long Feng a small, cold smile, showing teeth.

Predictably, he curses at her. “I’ve wasted enough of my time,” she announces, and then she leaves the room.

* * *

So, the Dai Li evidently have some tricks up their sleeve that she’s never heard of. When Ty Lee sets out on her “date” with Zuko—no, Lee, she must remember that there’s a difference—Mai busies herself trawling through the palace libraries in search of some secret Dai Li information. It’s pretty much what she expected it to be: dull and dusty, mostly bound scrolls of how to earthbend and mindnumbingly boring Earth Kingdom history. After an hour or so, she sighs and dusts off her hands, wrinkling her nose as she drops the latest crinkled yellow scroll onto the table. It’s probably a priceless relic of some sort. Too bad.

“Mai?”

That would be Azula. Mai turns to see her lounging against the doorway with one hand on her hip, casually at home in the grandest of palaces the Earth Kingdom has to offer. She’s dressed in Fire Nation red in the middle of a sea of green, and Mai wonders for a moment if that’s supposed to be a statement of some sort. It probably is, but she wearies of picking apart hidden meanings. “Azula,” she says in greeting.

“What’re you doing in here?” Azula says, sounding curious. Her hands trail over the loosely rolled scrolls, teasing idly at the paper. “I never figured you to have a resounding interest in Earth Kingdom literature.”

Mai shrugs. “I got bored,” she says, which is true if not exactly the truth. “Although I have to say that I haven’t found anything interesting.”

“Of course you haven’t,” Azula says with a smile. It’s not cruel; in fact, it’s almost nice. “This is the public library, or at least as public a library as you can get for the palace here. They’ve neutered this place long ago.” She looks at Mai slyly. “You should have known. Remember the hidden shelves back home?”

The memory is enough to bring a small smile to Mai’s face. Of course she remembers. The “unexpurgated” scrolls, hidden behind a metallic statue that would only open to a firebender’s touch. That had been a very worthy discovery, and she remembers how all three them, her and Azula and Ty Lee, had taken turns reading bits of the saucier stories out loud. And then they’d told Zuko about it, and it had been positively _adorable_ , the way he blushed…

Her smile fades, but she thinks that she recovers quickly enough that Azula doesn’t notice. “Well,” she says, “evidently having fun is forbidden across cultures.”

Azula laughs, high and clear. It’s a familiar sound that harks back to their shared childhood. “Shall we go see what the Dai Li read for pleasure in their spare time, then?” she says, linking her arm companionably in Mai’s. “I’m sure there must be a treasure trove or two around here somewhere. Too bad Ty Lee isn’t here. Do you know where she is, by the way? I feel like we must be doing her a disservice by not including her.”

Mai shrugs, affectedly casual. “Probably with some boy. You know how she is.”

“Ah,” Azula says. She sounds idly disinterested, and Mai hopes that’s the truth. “Well, I hope she doesn’t get too attached to any of these rockheads. I don’t know how much longer we’ll be staying in Ba Sing Se.”

“Oh, yes?” Mai murmurs. “Has your father sent us orders yet?”

“No, but he’ll probably need me back at the palace soon,” Azula says. She sounds casually haughty, which is a tonal feat that Mai silently admires. “Not that I haven’t been having fun sharpening my teeth on Ba Sing Se, but the sooner I can leave the dust behind, the better.” She lights a fire in her other hand as they venture deeper into the library, lighting the lanterns with flicks of her hand as they walk by. “You excited to go back?”

 _Excited_ isn’t quite the word she’d use, and there are multiple reasons for that. “It’ll be dull,” she says instead. “I’ve only just gotten out of the Fire Nation palace.”

“My poor Mai. Very well, I will delay as long as I can for your sake,” Azula says. “I’ll tell Father that the nobles here are being presumptuous or something, which is very true.” She squeezes Mai’s hand briefly, and it feels rather sisterly. “But I do wonder…if you’re trawling for Earth Kingdom texts, how entertained can you be here?”

Her voice is sweet, but there’s a thinly veiled trap in there. Mai spares a fleeting thought to wonder if it was intentional or just a question. It’s hard to tell sometimes with Azula. “More entertained than back home,” Mai says. “At least it’s something new. Although it’s true that the novelty is rapidly wearing off.”

“I see,” Azula says. “Well, let’s entertain you, shall we? It’s been far too long since we’ve spent time together; I’ve simply been so busy.” She smiles at Mai, and it’s bright enough that Mai can’t help but give her a smile in return.

“So,” Azula continues. “If I were going to hide secret texts in an Earth Kingdom palace, where would I be?” She unlinks her arm from Mai’s and spreads her hands to point at either wall. “I could simply ask one of the Dai Li, I suppose, but that would be far too easy. Let’s think like them.” She begins to pace, one hand trailing lightly on the stone, and Mai follows in her wake. “If I wanted to hide secret books, I’d hide it somewhere that’s impossible to reach if you’re not an earthbender. Underground’s an option, but there’s not enough space between the lower floor and this one to conceal a shelf, and it’s far too conspicuous to have a hole in the ground, anyway. So it’d be a wall where it’s easy to enter and exit without being seen, and you must always account for human error—people are simply too lazy to put things back properly.” She places one palm flat on the stone. “Let’s see…”

Oh, yes, Azula’s clever. And when she’s not being cruel, she’s quite companionable.

They spend an entertaining afternoon tracing the halls of the Earth Kingdom palace, tossing theories back and forth as to the location of a secret library. When they find the secret library—and with Azula, it’s always a when, not an if—Azula blasts open the rock with a powerful explosion that leaves Mai deeply impressed. It leaves a sizable gap in the wall, but that seems like a small price to pay, all told. Some of the outermost scrolls are charred by the blast, but they still seem legible when Mai unfolds them.

“What dirty secrets do we have here, then?” Azula says with a broad smile, and suddenly, Mai’s on high alert again. In a blink of the eye, the game has turned from something friendly to something very dangerous. It’s not her secrets this room contains, but it could very well lead to Zuko. And she can’t quite voice why, but she knows that _Azula cannot find out_.

Mai thumbs through the scrolls, her eyes rapidly skimming the markers. They’re ordered by the number of brush strokes in the topic, and they seem fairly harmless for a secret library. The Rings of Ba Sing Se. Manuscripts of Avatar Kyoshi. Procedures and Customs. Lake Laogai…

Hmm.

She turns away from that section, instead sliding out one of Kyoshi’s scrolls. It’s written on something heavier than the usual paper, and if she were inclined to romanticism, she would say that the history seems to pour out of its very presence. “Look, Kyoshi,” she says, injecting as much boredom into her tone as possible. “What a cultural relic.”

As she’d hoped, Azula comes over to her side. She carelessly unravells it, letting the end of it fall onto the floor. “Ugh,” they say almost at the same time as a strange smell rises up from it, no doubt the history protesting at such treatment. Azula waves a delicate hand in front of her nose. “Well, I suppose the Fire Sages will be happy to swoon over these, at least,” she says as she rolls it back shut. “I’ll have these carted back with our ship, I suppose.”

“You’re bringing these back?” Mai says, intrigued despite herself.

Azula gives her a razor-thin smile. “I try to understand the customs of the people I subjugate,” she says angelically, and Mai gives a tiny snort at the statement. “It’s not like the Earth Kingdom needs these, at any rate. Taking them is just good politics.”

“ _Politics_ ,” Mai says, and the disgust there, at least, is completely true. Azula laughs, an unrestrained, free sound, and pats her on the shoulder. Bits of dust come off Mai’s robe, and she gives an inward sigh. No doubt her hair is equally messy. “Ugh.”

“Yes, you are a mess,” Azula says. “As am I.” There’s a good measure of dust on her as well, and she looks as if as if she’s just noticing it. “Well,” she says, suddenly brisk. “I’ll leave you to it. You can develop your inner passion for Earth Kingdom literature in peace while I clean this filth off. Do let me know if anything interesting comes up.”

“Of course,” Mai says with a bow. She holds back her tiny sigh of relief until Azula’s well out of earshot, and she waits even longer before heading over the marker labeled _Lake Laogai_ and pulling out the first scroll. It’s dry reading, as expected, but she’s on the right track now. She can feel it.

(It’s only until much, _much_ later that it occurs to her that that might have been too easy.)

* * *

 Ty Lee returns later that evening, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed. Mai resists the urge to interrogate her immediately, waiting until after dinner when they have some measure of privacy before cornering her. “Well?”

To her considerable credit, Ty Lee doesn’t draw out the suspense. “He thinks he was born in one of the colonies,” she says in a whisper. “He claims he’s not a bender, and his greatest ambition is becoming the manager of the teashop after the proprietor dies.”

Mai stares at her. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Ty Lee says with a nod. “It’s a little weird. Well, a lot weird.” She shrugs. “But it was fun.”

Mai takes a breath. Two. “Fun,” she repeats. Ty Lee looks at her steadily, and Mai breathes out through her nose, feeling uncharitable and duly abashed. “Sorry,” she mutters.

“He’s not Zuko,” Ty Lee says softly. “He’s Lee. He doesn’t know who he is. The Dai Li did something to him, you know that.”

“I do know that,” Mai echoes, as much for her confirmation as Ty Lee’s.

Ty Lee pats her on the arm. Mercifully, she doesn’t pursue the topic further. “So,” she says instead. “What about you? Did you find anything?”

“Yes,” Mai says. “Found out a lot, actually.” And it’s true: the innocently named _Lake Laogai_ had turned up a treasure trove of information, filled with detail about everything except the essential point—how to _undo_ it. For that particular topic, there are only sketchy clues, vague references to “the resistance of the subject” and “the subject’s innate stubbornness”. She relays this to Ty Lee, who listens solemnly with wide eyes. “So I don’t know if there’s a hidden _hidden_ library,” Mai says tiredly. “Or if it’s just really as strong as Long Feng likes to claim.” She smirks humorlessly. “At least if we’re relying on stubbornness alone, Zuko will prevail for sure. He never gave up, and I’m certain that he won’t now.”

Ty Lee doesn’t say anything for a moment. As the silence drags on, Mai looks at her with a frown to see a contemplative expression on her face. “What?” she asks.

“So, don’t take this the wrong way,” Ty Lee begins hesitantly.

“This can’t end well,” Mai remarks.

“Look. Just listen,” Ty Lee says. Mai raises an eyebrow, but she waits for Ty Lee to continue. “So,” Ty Lee says slowly, drawing out the word. “What if—what if we _shouldn’t_ try to undo it? We just let him be Lee. And he stays in Ba Sing Se and lives in his tea shop happily ever after.”

Mai stares at her. “What’re you talking about?”

Ty Lee shrugs, the motion uncharacteristically awkward. “I mean…he’s a wanted fugitive, Mai,” she says. “He couldn’t kill the Avatar, which was what the Fire Lord told him to do. Azula was the one who had to do that. There’s no point in him waking up, is there, really? And I mean, he’s not unhappy. From talking to him today, I figure that serving tea is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him.”

“He’s _Zuko_ ,” Mai says flatly, unable to believe her ears. “He’s not meant to be a serving boy.”

“Yeah, but he’s not really meant to be Fire Lord either, is he?” Ty Lee says, her expression tentative. “He’s banished and disgraced. There’s no place for him back home.”

“What’re you trying to say?” Mai demands. “That I should just leave this alone? Forget he ever existed?”

Ty Lee looks away. “Well—not quite that harsh. But yes?” She gives Mai an apologetic smile, but Mai’s in no mood to receive it charitably. “I mean, what’s the point?”

What’s the point? What does she even mean by that, _what’s the_ _point?_ “He’s a firebender and a prince,” Mai snaps. “He’s not some Earth Kingdom peasant. He doesn’t belong here anymore than we do. He’s Zuko, he’s not Lee, and I can’t believe that you would just _leave_ him there—”

“Lower your voice!” Ty Lee hisses.

Mai bites her lip, feeling a flush of heat come over her. What is she _doing_? She’s losing control, that’s what, and that doesn’t happen to her. She takes a deep breath, drawing on years of iron control learned from childhood. Don’t get angry, Mai, it doesn’t do anything for you. Keep quiet, don’t draw attention, this is very important and we can’t have children get in the way, now can we? Now just—sit— _still_ —

She lets out the breath. “I’m not leaving him.”

“Just consider it,” Ty Lee says quietly. “Please.”

“Any happiness he’s feeling is the result of a lie,” Mai says fiercely. “It would be cruel to make him live like that.”

Ty Lee gives a tiny shrug. “I think it’d be more cruel to wake him up, if such a thing is even possible,” she says. She twists her hands together. “But it’s your choice, Mai.”

Mai’s mouth twists bitterly. “I’m going to wake him up,” she says, her tone leaving no room for argument. Of course there’s no argument; how could there ever be one? “I don’t know how, but I’m going to do it. I’ll drag him back to the Fire Nation with us if I have to.”

“Azula will have to know,” Ty Lee says. Her words are quiet, but they’re like a splash of cold water to Mai’s face. “You can’t hide something like that.” She pauses. “How are you going to tell her?”

Now, it’s Mai’s turn to look away. To that, she doesn’t have a good answer.

* * *

 He’s the prince. He’s…he’s _Zuko_ ; he’s vibrant and energetic and sweet and charming. How could she just leave him there to be trapped in a lie? That’s no way to live one’s life. He deserves to know the truth. Sure, it’s not a pleasant truth, but Zuko never gives up. He’ll work through it, no matter what, and he’ll be all the stronger for it.

Won’t he?

Or perhaps she’s lying to herself, she thinks glumly. Is she doing this for him or for herself? She won’t deny that she’s had a crush on him; she has to admit that, at least. But is it with _him_ , or with some archaic idea of him that might not be there anymore since his banishment? She hasn’t spoken to him in years, not since his banishment. Perhaps her desire to wake him up simply some sort of pathetic wish fulfillment, and in its own way, just as cruel as any of Azula’s schemes. What if he _is_ happy? What if being a humble tea server is better than being a banished prince? What if…

She doesn’t do dreams. That’s far more Ty Lee’s realm than hers. She deals with facts, objective reality, and then once she’s assessed the situation, she throws in a healthy dose of cynicism for good measure. The world isn’t a nice place, nor is it fair. What’s easy isn’t always right, nor is the right way always clear.

And this is the reason why she _loathes_ philosophy.

* * *

 She stays away from the Lower Ring for two whole days, choosing instead to wander the Middle Ring with Ty Lee. Ty Lee seems determinedly cheerful, dragging her to a whole new host of restaurants and shops, barely leaving enough room in the conversation to say Zuko’s name, let alone think about him. Mai suffers through it all with dour grace, but there’s only so long she can chew over the problem. Hanging in suspense does no one any favors.

It began at the teashop, and it seems only fit that it ends there. Zuko—no, Lee. He’s Lee now. He greets her, and she can see that same awkward smile that she fell hard for as a child. But she’s not a child anymore, and perhaps it’s time to let old dreams go.

“Hello,” he says. “Can I take your order?”

She looks down at the menu. Turns it over. “What do you recommend?” she says.

“Well, between you and me, the jasmine tea is really great,” he says. “And the ginger-raspberry is fresh from Kolau.”

She raises an eyebrow. “If you can trust the merchants.”

“Of course you can,” he says, sounding affronted. There are shades of the Zuko she knows, but it’s completely wrong. “The merchants offer only the finest wares here in Ba Sing Se.”

“Even in the Lower Ring?” she asks. “I would think that the Upper Ring takes the best first.”

He frowns a little at her. “There is order to all things here in Ba Sing Se,” he says sternly. “The walls keep us safe, you know.”

“I’m sure they do,” she says. “You’re a refugee, aren’t you?”

A flash of wariness crosses his face, and for a moment she has hope. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for, but whatever it is, it isn’t real. This is confirmed as he bows his head slightly, “Yes. There are a lot of us refugees here, but Ba Sing Se protects us.”

“From what?” Mai probes. “There’s no war here.”

“Of course there isn’t. I left home because I was hungry and alone,” he says with a shrug. “And now I’m not. It could be worse.” The proprietor shouts, and he gives her an exaggerated wince. “Although, I have to say, getting scolded by Master Weishan isn’t a good way to go out, either. Have you decided yet, miss?”

She orders the jasmine. He nods, bows, even smiles as he leaves. All is clearly right in his world.

He’s so…happy. So naïve. He has a future here, even if its shining climax is merely the management of a teashop. What _does_ he have back home? He’s scarred and banished, neither of which are likely to change soon. Is the childhood nostalgia worth it?

It’s her choice, Ty Lee had said, and Mai rests her fingers on her temples and closes her eyes. Is the truth worth it? What _is_ she hoping for, should the best come true? Should she or should she not, that is the question…

“Mai!”

…or perhaps, the true question is whether she ever had a choice at all.

She turns around to see Azula is standing there, Ty Lee behind her, her eyes wide as she shakes her head slowly. “Whatever brings you down here?” Azula asks, and for a wild moment Mai tries to hope that this is just an idle whim of Azula’s, that maybe she doesn’t know. The proprietor rushes forward to offer a groveling welcome, but Azula waves him imperiously into silence. “Such a dingy teashop,” she says loudly. “You can’t possibly be coming here for the tea. I imagine pig-cow slop would serve you better.”

Her eyes are fixed squarely on Mai’s, and Mai meets them for a moment before bowing her head. Azula knows. Of course she knows. “No,” Mai acknowledges quietly. “I’m not.”

She watches from the corner of her eye as Azula moves away from her. “Ah, you must be Lee!” she says, and Mai looks up in time to see Azula grab his arm. He looks like a mouse-deer standing frozen as the eagle hawk swoops down for the kill, and Mai spares a fleeting moment to wonder how things can go so right yet so _very_ wrong at the same time. This isn’t how she wanted it to go.

“I’m calling for an immediate promotion,” Azula announces, her teeth gleaming as she smiles broadly at the patrons of the teashop. Azula performs best with an audience, and here, they’re only all too ready to oblige. “I’ve heard great things about you,” she says, ostensibly to Zuko, but the words echo in the suddenly quiet shop. “You’re too good for this slum you call a teashop,” she tells him.

He stares at her, his eyes wide. Whether as Lee or Zuko, he’s still no match for her.

Still holding Zuko with one hand, Azula turns and gestures to Mai. “Mai. My dear friend. Let’s go celebrate in a better location, shall we?”

It’s not a question. Mai stands up, keeping her breathing steady. Be still. Keep control. This isn’t your place to protest, Mai.

“Of course,” she says calmly, and she follows them out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to ditch the series as this functions a lot better as part of the same story. So hooray, have a potentially very lengthy fic, because lord knows that this has already veered waaaaaay off the original outline I wrote. Write ALL the words!

Sometimes, Mai wonders if it's all just a game to Azula. This doesn't mean that Azula takes things lightly; in fact, the opposite is true. Games have victors, and one thing has always been very clear: Azula will _always_ win. Whether it's acquiring top marks in class or conquering Ba Sing Se, loss is simply never an option. Azula is the queen, and everyone else arranges themselves around her.

At the very least, she's certainly won this round, although you wouldn't be able to tell from the look on her face. As Zu— _Lee_ kneels before them with a tray of tea in his hands, Azula is nothing less than charming. "Come now," she says, and her voice is sweet enough to trap a spider-fly. "Have a cup with us, Lee. This is as much a celebration for you as it is for us."

He looks up. He doesn't even have the shelter of his hair to hide behind, Mai thinks with just a touch of bitterness. Instead, the vulnerability on his face is clear for all to see, and he's even stupid enough to show hope. "Your—uh, your majesty? Majesty—" he begins, the words stumbling and hesitant. "I'm honored that you chose me, I really am, but—"

"But nothing," Azula says, effortlessly wresting the reins of the conversation from him. "You know, when my friend here told me about your tea-making abilities, I didn't believe her. But she insisted that you were the best tea-maker in the city, and I trust her implicitly." Azula smiles and lays a hand on Lee's. "And now that I see you, I know the rumors must be true. You _must_ return with us to the Fire Nation. Everyone will love you!"

It doesn't even make _sense_ —who judges tea-making abilities based on appearance? But Azula's a powerfully charismatic force when she wishes to be, and Lee doesn't even have the benefit of Zuko's experience to draw upon. Zuko's always been a poor player in the game, to be sure, but at least he had half a chance. As for Lee? Well, it's a bit pitiful to watch, really, as the plea that Lee was surely about to make goes unvoiced, replaced by confused happiness. Yes, you _are_ the best tea-maker in the city, is it you? Is it you? _Good boy_ , here's a treat!

She's sat through worse, but only just barely. Mai focuses on the steady pattern of her breathing, keeping a placid mask over her feelings. She's aware of Ty Lee shifting uncomfortably in the corner of her eye—Ty Lee has always been far more emotional, and Mai's not surprised in the least that Azula managed to extract the story from her. She doesn't blame her, she really doesn't.

What's done is done. Now, she has to deal with the consequences.

Before her, Azula is methodically dissecting Lee with clever compliments and sly questions. Where did he come from? Did he arrive with any family, or is he all alone, the poor dear? Yes, it must have been so difficult, if only you could have saved your uncle from the robbers with earthbending…oh, you can't bend? At _all_? Well, that's no problem at all, my very best friends can't bend either. We have so much in common, you and I…

Mai works with cynicism and knives; Ty Lee works with optimism and innocence. Azula is some strange combination of the two—she's beautiful and charming, able to apply any mask almost flawlessly and to strip it off just as easily. Her interrogation is quite fascinating to watch, or it would be if Mai wasn't biting the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood.

"Well, I know you must be exhausted," Azula concludes at length, giving Lee a beautific smile. "Why don't you show him to his new quarters, Ty Lee? I'm sure you two have much to catch up on."

As she leaves, Ty Lee gives Mai an apologetic sidelong glance that Azula surely catches. It's nice, if a bit careless. Azula takes a long, leisurely moment to drain her cup before she turns to Mai. "So," she says. "You haven't touched your tea."

Mai looks down at the teacup held in her hands. Her palms are cupped loosely around it, no sign of tension at all. Good. "I've had the tea before. He's a lousy brewer; it's awful."

Azula laughs. "Yes, it's not really that good, is it? But I won't break his heart by telling him so." She looks at Mai, and Mai returns the gaze steadily. There are few areas in which Mai can win against Azula, but a staring contest is one of them. Mai's prepared for…well, she's not quite sure what exactly, perhaps more of that barbed cleverness that Azula is so fond of.

Azula's next words disarm her entirely: "Mai, I hate seeing him like this."

…what?

Against her will, Mai finds her breath hitching just the tiniest bit. She recovers quickly, but perhaps not quickly enough. "You do?"

Azula leans back against the table, looking pensive. "The Dai Li did something to him, didn't they?" she says softly. "I've heard rumors about their mind control schemes. It certainly makes sense as to how they're able to keep such a large city as Ba Sing Se under control."

Mai watches her warily. "There's no way to break it,"she says after a moment. "That day we looked for the library—I found some scrolls. There's nothing in there about breaking free."

"Why ask scrolls when we can ask the Dai Li in person?" Azula says. The words could be mocking; the tone is not. "They are our allies, after all. We do have their former captain imprisoned below in case he knows something that they don't, plus I'm sure there are a few others who will be willing to divulge information."

Oh. _Right_. "That makes sense," Mai says cautiously, trying to feel out the new territory. Of all of Azula's possible reactions, _cooperation_ was never one that Mai had anticipated, much less prepared for.

"Of course it does," Azula says, just a hint of impatience entering her tone. She sits down next to Mai. A long silence ticks by, and then finally, Azula sighs. Mai looks at her, and she's startled to find that Azula looks…vulnerable, almost. "I understand why you wanted to keep it from me," Azula says quietly, earnestly. "And I don't blame you. But in this, Mai, I promise you—I am on your side."

Mai meets her eyes steadily. "Why?" she asks, forcing the question out into the open. It's bold of her to ask this, she knows, but no one can deny that it's a fair question. Mai has known Azula since they were children, and family affection is…unusual, to say the least.

Azula's smile is sad, almost wistful. Mai wants to distrust it so much, but…they grew up together; she knows the masks that Azula puts on. This mask, if it is one, is certainly new. "I missed him too, you know," Azula says softly. "And while Father was within his rights to banish him, three years seems a bit too long for me."

"I thought you were happy to see him gone," Mai says guardedly.

"I never wanted him gone forever," Azula says. "And no Earth Kingdom scum gets to lay their hands on _my_ brother and play with his mind like it's some kind of toy." Her gaze turns distant for a moment. "He's mine, Mai. And no one gets to hurt me and mine."

Mai looks sidelong at Azula, feeling as if the world is spinning on its axis. "I just thought," she says slowly, and then stops. "Well, when we were young…"

"I know, I know," Azula says with a little sigh. "We certainly had our share of fun at his expense as children, didn't we." She rises to her feet in a lithe, graceful movement. "But that was between us as a family. No one else gets to do that." She opens her palm to reveal fire dancing in it. "And they certainly don't get to take a member of the Fire Nation royal family and leash him like a dog to their will. Disgraced or not, he's still my brother."

Mai blinks. "Oh," she says. And that's all she can say, really. This is unusual, to say the least. "I," she begins. "I didn't think that…"

"Mai," Azula sighs. "Do you have so little faith in me? Even if I didn't have any affection for Zuko at all—which I do, even if you don't seem to believe it—I don't want to hurt you." She pauses. "I know how you feel about him."

Mai feels a blush come into her cheeks, and she looks away sharply. "Not what I was going to say. And that was a very different time."

"You know, I think you'll find that the boy you loved is still there somewhere under that simpering servility," Azula says, her voice quiet. "We just have to find him."

"I don't love him," Mai says fiercely.

"Of course not," Azula says. "But I think that you could, and that Zuko could love you as well. But not Lee." She pauses. "Lee can't do anything."

It's true. A little baldly spoken, perhaps, but so very true. Mai breathes in and out deeply, trying to reorient herself. "I—I just didn't _hate_ Zuko," she says, and it feels like she's almost trying to justify this just a little too much. "There's a difference."

"Oh, Mai," Azula says with a laugh. It's not a cruel laugh. "That's a lofty honor, I suppose. I should be so grateful if you didn't hate me as well. It would make getting Zuko back a little difficult, to be honest."

"You really want him back?" Mai says. She aims for cynicism, but to her surprise, her voice comes out small and uncertain. She clears her throat and looks away briefly before turning back. "The Fire Lord won't feel the same."

"He might not," Azula allows, "but losing Father's favor is nothing new for Zuko. At any rate, I have some ideas that might help Zuko regain his place in court. But for that I need Zuko, not—" she wrinkles her nose—"Lee the teaboy." She offers a hand to Mai, and Mai looks at it for a moment before glancing back up at Azula's face. "I consider you a close friend," Azula says quietly. "We grew up together, and we conquered a city together. I need you by my side, Mai. I need you to help me get my brother back."

Mai holds that in her mind, weighing it against the vulnerability in Azula's voice just moments earlier. What's the angle? How does Azula benefit? Can she believe Azula? Can they help Zuko? How does Azula _really_ feel? And last but not least—does it matter?

Mai takes a breath. Then, Azula's hand. "I should have come to you sooner," Mai says, bowing her head in acknowledgment. "I'm sorry."

Azula smiles. "I understand why you didn't," she says. "But I forgive you. The past is past; let's not hold it over each other."

They sit in silence for a moment. Mai turns Azula's hand palm upwards, tracing the lines there. Her own hands are rough with calluses, but Azula's are strangely soft for someone who holds fire in them on a regular basis. They're narrower, too, with finely manicured nails that are longer than Mai's—no one in their right mind who fights with steel lets their nails get out of control. Firebenders don't need to worry about that at all…

"Right," Mai says at length. "What now."

Azula clears her throat. "Well," she says. "Now that we've finally straightened things out, let's go find the Dai Li. Wasting time serves no one—well, Lee might, but he's just awful at it. I mean, he may work in a teashop, but he still has a _lot_ to learn about brewing tea." She gives Mai a mischievous sidelong glance. "That tea really was awful, wasn't it?"

A laugh escapes Mai before she can help herself, and Azula laughs as well. The two of them together, sharing this moment—it feels nice. It's like those childhood days back in the Fire Nation palace all over again, really.

Well, _that_ was certainly unexpected.

* * *

The rooms set aside for Zu— _Lee_ —aren't big, but they're in the guest quarters instead of the servant quarters, which is mildly surprising. She can see Lee's silhouette through the paper frames of the door. He's just…sitting there.

She takes a breath and knocks. She can see him leap up almost immediately, and almost immediately after sliding the door open, he leans down into one of the most ridiculous-looking bows she's ever seen. "Lady—your Highness—er—" he says.

"Mai," she says. "Just Mai."

He looks so _supremely_ uncomfortable. Mai ignores the flicker of pity and steps into the room. It's nicely furnished but nothing special compared to the Fire Nation palace. At the same time, it's probably more lavish than anything that Lee the tea boy has ever seen in his entire life. She turns around, and his head is bowed as he shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot. And suddenly, stupidly, Mai is at a loss for words. How does she handle this doppelganger of Zuko; how does she confront his weak shadow?

The silence ticks by. Finally, Mai clears her throat. "You'll like the Fire Nation," she says. "It's nice. The palace courtyard has a beautiful pond in it. You—you can feed the turtleducks. If you want."

If she's hoping for something, she's sorely disappointed. "Yes, Lady Mai," he says.

"Just _Mai_ ," she says sharply, and she can see the flinch run through his entire body. Mai's mouth twists, and she looks away. "Fine. You can call me Lady Mai."

"Yes, Lady Mai," he says.

She's never wanted to be Ty Lee so badly in her life. Zuko, her Zuko—she knows his stubbornness, his willpower that defined him so strongly. This Lee can barely stand up to a breeze before falling over, and she can't do Ty Lee's sweetness or Azula's charm. "Did Ty Lee show you around the palace?" she tries, and she wants to bite back the words as soon as they're out of her mouth.

"Yes, Lady Mai."

She could get better conversation out of a pillar at this rate. "It must have been a big change for you," she says in a final attempt. "Have you made any friends in Ba Sing Se?"

At this, he does raise his head. Golden eyes meet hers, so familiar yet empty of that essential spark that Zuko had. "I've been very busy working," he says slowly. "But Master Weishan has been very kind to me."

"Well, he gave you a job. I guess that's nothing to be sneezed at," Mai says, feeling mildly encouraged. "The princess has ordered you not to leave the palace, but if you write a note or something, I can get it to him."

Lee nods. "That would be good." He looks down. "Master Weishan helped me out when I had nowhere else to go. I'll be sad to leave him, but it's for the better, of course," he says, and the end bit is tacked on just a little too hastily to be completely genuine. He straightens. "It was meant to be. There is an order to all things here in Ba Sing Se."

She's heard him say that one before, and it's eerie how the inflection is almost exactly identical. "Right," she says. "Of course. The sacred order. Master Weishan must have been aware of it, but he took you in anyway. That's unusual, isn't it? Not many people would take in someone who's been questioned by the Dai Li."

Unexpectedly, he smiles. It's a big smile, completely unnatural on Zuko's face, and it doesn't reach his eyes. "There's no shame in being questioned by the Dai Li," he says. "They want to keep us safe. They are the keepers of cultural order in Ba Sing Se."

" _Are_ they," she says, but the sarcasm apparently goes straight over his head. "I'm sure they were very nice to you."

He blinks rapidly. The smile stays, although it noticeably wilts. "Of course they were." His eyes shift away from her face in an almost distracted fashion, and Mai keeps herself from leaning forward in interest. "They want nothing but the best for us."

She tries to keep her voice low and soothing, trying to scare him off. "Is that what they told you in your quarters at Lake Laogai? Was it a nice vacation?"

"Of course it was," he says, the words coming out far too fast to be anything but automatic. He looks at her, and quick as the wind, his face changes—his eyes—well, his good eye, anyway—is wide in a presumably innocent expression, although it honestly makes him look more demented than anything else. His mouth is curved into that patently fake smile once more. "They keep us safe. They are the keepers of order in Ba Sing Se."

Mai bites back her first, stinging reply—it won't do any good, and she likes to think that she isn't _quite_ as heartless as Azula yet. "That's good to know," she says. "I'm so proud."

So maybe a _little_ disdain slipped in there, but it's not like he'll notice.

He stands there with that silly expression frozen on his face, and Mai allows herself the luxury of a world-weary sigh. "Lee," she says.

It's almost eerie how he turns to look at her without the smile faltering one inch. "Yes, Lady Mai?" he says.

Is the boy she knew _anywhere_ under that mask? It seems almost impossible. "Give the note to me tomorrow morning," she says abruptly, and then thinks better of it. "No, on second thought: give it to Ty Lee. I'll be busy. Good night."

He bows and probably says something polite and meaningless, but she ignores him, sweeping out of the room before he's even straightened up. She makes her way briskly down the hall, and it's only when she's turned the corner that she allows herself to lean against the wall, her heart hammering against her chest. She's going to fix this. It should be easier than ever now that she has Azula's blessing and the resources of the Dai Li. And if they don't cooperate, she's going to _destroy_ them.

* * *

If you know someone's weaknesses, you can undo them so very easily. Mai knows how to do this physically; Ty Lee can do it to someone's energy and chi. Azula, though, Azula is in a league of her own—undoing isn't so much her forte as is utter and complete manipulation.

And frankly, Mai's never appreciated it more.

Qian isn't a high-ranking member of the Dai Li, but he's power-hungry and willing to spill their hallowed secrets in exchange for more power, or at least what he _thinks_ is power, the fool. Mai sits impassively at Azula's right-hand side as Qian leads two women into the room. They're dressed identically right down to the vacant smiles on their faces, and it's enough to send a frisson down Mai's spine.

"Joo Dee," Qian intones to their right. "Present your respects to the Fire Lord's daughter, Princess Azula."

Mai spares just a fleeting thought to the injury that statement must cause Azula's pride before the women—the Joo Dee?—speak. "Welcome to our wonderful city, Princess Azula," they say, and if their appearances were strange, it's downright terrifying to hear their voices in perfect synchrony. "We are honored to serve you as you stay in Ba Sing Se."

"That's just creepy," Mai says, the words coming out a little bit louder than she intended. She looks at Qian. "How long have they been in Lake Laogai?"

"These?" Qian says, waving a dismissive hand. "The Joo Dee training is perhaps a couple weeks long. The women we recruit are usually very pliable and easy to control," he adds, and there's just something so rankling about that statement. The Joo Dee barely seem to even blink, and for the first time Mai can appreciate that Zuko, damaged as he is, still has slightly more personality than these automatons. "And if they show any resistance, they are programmed to respond to a phrase that we have instilled in them. Observe." He turns to the Joo Dee. " _The Earth King has invited you to Ba Sing Se_."

Impossibly, their smiles grow even wider, and Mai watches, startled, as their pupils dilate noticeably. "We are honored to accept his invitation," they say again. Then—nothing; they stand there, perfectly still as they await further orders.

" _Fascinating,_ " Azula breathes.

Mai looks at her sharply, but Azula's gazing raptly at the Joo Dee. "They will obey all commands in this state?" Azula continues. She hops off the throne, approaching the two women. " _Any_ command?"

"Yes," Qian says, managing to sound insufferably smug. "The Dai Li training is impassable."

Azula looks thoughtful for a moment, and Mai feels a slow trickle of uneasiness in her gut. As she watches, Azula brings her hand forward in a sudden movement. Mai feels the heat of the blue flame almost before it appears in her palm. "Joo Dee," Azula commands, beckoning the woman on the right with her other hand. "Put your hand in mine."

Without hesitation, the Joo Dee walks towards Azula, her hand outstretched. Perhaps there's just the barest flicker of reluctance, but the next thing Mai knows, Joo Dee plunges her hand straight into the flame. There's a moment of frozen silence, and then—

Blue flame is blue for a reason, and Mai watches in horror as the woman begins to scream, agony replacing the smile. The smell of burning flesh fills the air, and Joo Dee makes as if to jerk away, but—she _doesn't._ Her hand twitches and claws helplessly, but it stays in the fire even as her skin roasts away. Azula watches, the blue glow of the flame giving her smile an unearthly prominence as she watches Joo Dee writhe in anguish.

Mai's not sure when she made the decision to move, but the next thing she's aware of, she has Azula's arm twisted up in the air as Joo Dee falls to the ground. Snot and tears drip down her face as she continues to scream. In this position, Mai can feel the heat of the fire perilously close to her hair, and she keeps herself very still. "Azula," she breathes into Azula's ear. "That's enough."

Azula turns her head enough so that Mai can see her face and the smile, that cold smile, still on it. Mai doesn't breathe for a horrible long moment until Azula douses the flame, the absence of heat a welcome relief and almost a shock. "Of course," Azula says sweetly. "Let go of me now, Mai."

Mai loosens her fingers from around Azula's wrist and takes a step back. She might be shivering. It's hard to be sure: Joo Dee is still screaming, and the sound echoes off the walls and drills into Mai's ears. Azula turns back to the Joo Dee, both the screaming one and the other one, smile frozen in place even as undeniable terror is in her eyes. "Shut up," Azula says, her voice cutting through the ringing cries.

Joo Dee's cries break off as if snapped in half, replaced by strangled whimpers instead. Mai carefully breathes in and flinches at the smell of burned flesh. "You," Azula says, pointing to the other woman. "Take her to whatever doctors you have here. See if you can save the hand."

Moving jerkily, the Joo Dee kneels down to help her companion up. The skin has almost completely burned away from the hand, mottled red and black. The two of them make their way in almost complete silence out of the room, broken only by swallowed whimpers.

"Well," Azula says brightly. "That was a very educational exercise."

That's…one way to put it, Mai supposes. She looks down at her hands and clenches them, forcing them still. She shifts her weight from one foot to another, seeking the comforting weight of her knives. She won't be caught helpless, not like the Joo Dee.

Qian clears his throat. "It certainly has been…edifying," he says slowly. The smug expression is off his face, at least. Mai can take that as a bleak comfort.

(The air still stinks of burning flesh.)

Casual and poised, Azula sits back on the throne. "So even extreme pain cannot break the hold of Lake Laogai," she says. "Even if the women are as pliable as you claim, that's still some very impressive conditioning you have."

"Of course," Qian says. He seems to regain some of his confidence. "It's a foolproof technique that can never be broken."

Mai finds her voice. "Never?" she interjects before Azula can say anything more. "There's no such thing as _never_."

Qian looks at her, eyes narrowed. Mai returns his gaze flatly. "Never," he reiterates.

"Now, now," Azula says, stepping between them. "What Mai meant to say that while your process is a success, there must be some who initially resist it." She flashes Mai a bright smile before turning back to Qian. "You mentioned that the Joo Dee are pliable. Are there some who aren't?"

Qian's gaze shifts back to Azula, and Mai can see awe and terror and greed warring in his eyes. Greed wins out. "Yes, Princess," he says. "In which case, we have other methods to break down their resistance." He looks back at Mai, his eyes flashing contempt. "But we are always successful."

Mai fights down the urge to draw steel. She wants to gut him; she wants to smash something; she wants the smell of burning flesh to go away. In a heroic effort of will, she does nothing as Azula smiles up at Qian, girlish and flattering. "A demonstration would be amazing… _Captain_ Qian," Azula says.

The man seems to swell up with pride, the terror of just moments past forgotten. "Of course," he says. "It would be my honor, Princess."

* * *

For all the rumors about Lake Laogai, the prison itself looks…well, it's a prison, nothing particularly special. The mindwashing chambers themselves look nondescript enough. It's a stone chair surrounded by a wheel-like contraption, and if there's relish in Qian's voice as he explains the process, that's because he's a slimy badger-toad who deserves to be eaten by a crocodile-snake. They move on to the holding cells, which are reasonably dank and unpleasant, but it's a prison, not a palace. A little dripping from the ceiling never hurt anybody. There aren't any manacles, which is unsurprising, Mai supposes, as this _is_ a prison run by earthbenders. One would assume that there's not much need for retraints.

Qian leads them deeper into the prison, the path lit by Azula's flames. At what must be the very bottom level, he shows them what must be the pinnacle of earthbending engineering: rectangular holes in the ground, maybe six feet by three. They're not very deep, perhaps two or three feet down. Mai scuffs the side of one idly with her shoe. "What are these? For the bodies?" she drawls.

"Yes," Qian says, giving her a smile that's more a snarl. She raises an eyebrow at him. "These are the reformation cells, where recalcitrant detainees are placed. It gives them time to…reconsider their ways."

Wait. People are placed in these?

Mai looks down at them with a renewed eye. They're shaped…well, they're just big enough to hold a person. Like tombs, she realizes, tiny airless prisons for the living. Trapped underground, with no room to turn or stretch or move, hidden away where no one will ever find the bodies. She stares down into the shallow hole, her mind immediately jumping to comparing her own measurements. She'd be able to spread her arms a couple inches to either side. If she were lucky, her nose wouldn't graze the ceiling once the hole was sealed. She might have an inch of leeway around her head or feet. Less if she's wearing shoes.

"Interesting," Azula says, sounding remarkably calm over the sudden ringing in Mai's ears. "How do you get air to the detainees, though? I imagine they wouldn't last very long with that."

Qian stomps into the ground, and Mai forces herself not to flinch as rock rises to cover the top of the tomb nearly three feet thick. There are holes drilled through the rock, holes that presumably provide air. They're not very big, though, and she doesn't think for a second that they let any sort of light through. "Each cell is measured to the occupant at the time of creation," Qian says. "We don't want to kill the detainee, as that would undermine our goal of social reformation. We simply want them to…well, reconsider things."

"So what's the longest a detainee has ever been held in these rooms?" Azula asks, all polite curiosity. Mai focuses on her instead, taking strength from her calm demeanor. "Obviously these measures are only necessary for the most extreme of subjects, but between the mindwashing and…ah…these cells, I can't imagine that they would last long."

Qian bows to her. "Astute as ever, Princess," he says, and virulent hatred joins the roiling nausea lodged firmly in Mai's stomach. "I will have to check the records to be exact, but our methods are efficient. I would suppose about a month. Not including necessary re-visits, of course, for relapsing subjects."

One month. Thirty days alternating between blinding, hypnotic light and airless, cramped darkness, with no way to judge the passing of time either way. The look in Lee's eyes hadn't been innocence; it'd been _terror_ , and for good reason. Zuko would have fought, she's sure of it, but trying to firebend in that airless tomb would just burn up the air. Maybe he'd tried to firebend his way out and found himself gasping for for every breath. Maybe he'd considered that as a more final way out, but then they bent rock over his arms, pinning him down so that even the slightest bit of movement would be completely impossible. Maybe he'd screamed until his throat was raw. No one would ever hear you, trapped in that rock.

"Is it really that effective?" Azula asks, and Mai wants to laugh at the question. Azula leans over, poking her fingers into one of the tiny airholes. Mai watches the movement of her fingers, refusing to look at the tomb as a whole.

"Very much so," Qian says. "The more coherent and strong-willed a subject is, the more easily they are able to resist the mindwashing technique. Strong attachments or convictions can also weaken the power. We give subjects the time they need to reconsider our ideas, and most of them end up accepting them."

 _That's_ a line of dictatorial propaganda if she's ever heard one.

She can see Qian look at her out of the corner of his eye, and she keeps her face perfectly still, refusing to give him a reaction. He's only one man, a stupid power-hungry jerk swayed by easy flattery and…well, unless he's not. The back of her neck prickles, her thoughts rapidly spiraling: he's an earthbender, they're not, he could leave them trapped here forever. No, he wouldn't do that, but _what if_ …

(and what if Azula plans to leave her here as revenge, as payback, Mai was a fool to come here, she doesn't want to die trapped underground in a tiny tomb, _she doesn't want to die like this_ )

"Well, Captain, this has been a _deeply_ enlightening trip," Azula says, straightening up. Her true thoughts, whatever they might be, are firmly hidden behind a casual mask. "So did you mention records? I would like access to those."

He frowns. "They are property of the Dai Li," he says, whatever remnants of loyalty he has kicking in. "I'm afraid not, Princess."

Azula hooks her arm through his. "Let's discuss this over tea," she says. She looks around and sniffs. "This really isn't the most festive of places, is it. It smells like dead fish. Some fresh air will do us all good."

She's so very calm about it as she talks Qian into bringing them back upstairs. Mai follows them as they head upwards, every sense on high alert. Azula has hold of Qian's arm, and Mai watches the movement of his feet with one hand on her knives, tensely watching for any sign of bending. She'll cut the tendons without a second thought if he tries the slightest trick.

It seems like an eternity before they finally emerge into the open air, but even then, her sense of relief is tainted with despair. It's a very good thing that Ty Lee isn't here with them, Mai thinks. It would turn her aura the darkest, dingiest gray one can imagine, and that's not a fate she'd wish on her friend.

There are very few things that can chill Mai to the bone—Azula's cruelty earlier in the day was one of them. The tiny cells under Lake Laogai, though: those outclass it by _miles_.

* * *

That night, she dreams of rock and darkness, Qian's voice and Azula's laughter. She wakes up slashing at the air with a knife, and it takes her a long moment to orient herself to where she is. For a minute, she lies in bed and simply breathes, reveling in the fresh cool air and the freedom of her limbs. She's in the Earth Kingdom palace, a place that, while it certainly has lost a good deal of its charm, isn't nearly as horrifying as Lake Laogai. And she's got Lee, for what that's worth. She's got Azula on her side. Most importantly, she has more information about what she's dealing with.

All bright, positive things. Think positive. Be like Ty Lee. Right.

She makes her way to breakfast feeling sullen and disoriented, and her dark mood is only marginally lifted when Ty Lee plops down in the seat next to her. "Hey," Ty Lee says, and Mai gives her a nod. "Guess what?"

"Mm?" Mai says around a mouthful of rice. Ty Lee slaps down a poster in front of her, and Mai's eyebrows go up as she reads it. Among other phrases: _The Fire Prince has returned. He will go back to the Fire Nation with honor_. There's a date there as well, set a week from now.

"So?" Ty Lee says. "What did you guys _do_ yesterday? I saw Lee yesterday and he seemed to still be Lee, so unless—"

"Wait, you saw him?" Mai says, looking up. "When?"

"In the morning," Ty Lee says with a shrug. "He asked me to take a note to his former master, which I did. And then since you guys weren't back yet, I figured that I'd have dinner with him, cheer him up a little." Mai looks away, and she hears Ty Lee sigh. "It wasn't anything special, Mai. He just needed a friend."

"I know," Mai says, and she does know, really. She sets the poster back down on the table carefully, smoothing out the parchment. "How is he?"

"Quiet. Disoriented still."

"Was he smiling a lot?" Mai murmurs. "And talking about the glory of Ba Sing Se?"

"A little in the beginning," Ty Lee says. "But then I talked at him for a while, and he asked me some stuff about the circus. It wasn't too bad. He's quiet, you know, not at all like Zuko." She taps the poster. "Speaking of Zuko. Did a miracle happen in the late hours of night?"

"Not that I know of," Mai says with a sigh. "We talked to Qian—he's one of the Dai Li. He gave us a…well, I guess _Azula_ gave us a demonstration on how powerful the mindwashing is." She swallows. "And then we went to Lake Laogai, and there are…well. It's not pleasant."

Ty Lee listens, eyes wide. Mai keeps her voice as calm as possible as she describes Lake Laogai in detail, right down to the tiny tomb-like cells. "Wow," Ty Lee breathes as Mai winds down. "I can't even imagine what it would be like to be trapped like that."

"It would change my mind, sure enough," Mai mutters. "I'll bet you everything that Zuko was placed in those cells. He wouldn't have gone down without a fight."

"Nope, not Zuko," Ty Lee says. She's quiet for a moment. "Wait. Something that Qian said…"

"Yes?"

"They put people in those cells because they resist. And they resist because of strong beliefs or attachments."

"So?" Mai says. She pokes at her rice and sighs. "I've no appetite for this anymore," she says, not that she'd had much of one to begin with. She pushes her bowl away.

"It'll keep," Ty Lee says, waving her hand dismissively. "Here's a thought. Maybe the solution here is to invoke some sort of emotion in Zuko, you know? Talk about the people that he used to know."

"The people he used to know include me, you, and Azula," Mai says tiredly. "Note that none of us have managed to spark a world-changing revelation thus far." She shudders, remembering the Joo Dee. "And if seeing Azula again didn't manage to do it, I don't think anything will."

"Maybe we just haven't tried hard enough," Ty Lee says. "We need to be more proactive about it, that's all."

"Yes, we could have Azula set his hair on fire again," Mai says sardonically. "Or have the Fire Lord burn the other half of his face off. That should do it."

"It doesn't have to be _that_ extreme," Ty Lee says. "I was actually thinking about something else entirely." She pauses, her fingers fidgeting nervously with the edges of the poster. "I mean…you could…"

Mai raises an eyebrow as Ty Lee peters off into silence. "I could what?" she prompts.

"You could completely sweep him off his feet and kiss him and then his aura will turn gold with love and he'll remember everything!" Ty Lee bursts out in one long breath. Her cheeks flush pink, and Mai stares at her, her mouth slightly open. "What? It could work!"

"Ty Lee, this isn't one of your romance novels!" Mai says, feeling immensely exasperated. "Life doesn't work that way."

"You've never tried," Ty Lee points out. "How do you know? His aura brightens up whenever he sees you, you know. Some part of him recognizes you."

Mai resolutely ignores the little jolt of her heart that Ty Lee's words cause. "I don't believe in auras," she says firmly. "And if he recognizes me, it's because I'm the person who brought Azula down on his head. I'm not going to do something stupid like that for a _moron_ who's terrified of me." She clears her throat. "I don't believe in children's tales."

"Well, technically it isn't exactly a tale for children," Ty Lee says. "The opposite, actually."

Mai rolls her eyes. "I know perfectly well that you started reading those trashy novels when we were ten."

"It's not like I was the only one. Azula keeps 'borrowing' them from me and not giving them back," Ty Lee grumbles. "Even if she won't admit it."

Mai smiles a little, but it quickly fades away. "At any rate," she says, suddenly feeling exhausted, "It doesn't matter. I'm the one who had a crush on him. He never…Zuko didn't reciprocate my feelings. I doubt he even knew."

It's more painful than she thought it would be to admit those words. Ty Lee sighs. "Then we'll just have to keep trying," she says. "Keep talking at him. Maybe the mind control will wear off."

"Maybe," Mai says dully. She reaches out and traces the characters of Zuko's name. _The Fire Prince_. "At least Azula's confident that we'll find a way, if she's slapped up posters all over town already."

"And in less than a week, too!" Ty Lee says, pointing at the date. "Did you know that we were going back to the Fire Nation in a week? I didn't."

"She's planning something," Mai says with absolute certainty.

"She's _always_ planning something. That's Azula for you; she's so brilliant," Ty Lee says. And that's the thing about Ty Lee, everything sounds sincere because it _is_ sincere. "And we'll fix this too, Mai. We'll talk to him until his ears fall off if we have to. We'll find a way."

The firm faith in Ty Lee's voice is reassuring to hear even if there's no way that her friend can guarantee them. Mai closes her eyes and sighs, drawing strength from that certainty. "Right," she says softly. "We'll fix it." Somehow, she thinks. Even if I have to rip Qian apart and bring down the whole of the Dai Li to do it.

"Mai," Ty Lee says, and Mai opens her eyes and glances at her. "Try talking to him first."

Mai blinks. "Who? Qian? I already did enough of that."

"No," Ty Lee says, rolling her eyes. " _Zuko_. Make him remember that he's Zuko, not Lee." She pauses. "Call me a silly romantic all you want, but…I really don't think violence isn't the answer here."

Depressingly enough, that just might be true. Mai bites back a sigh and nods grudgingly. "Fine," she mutters. "I'll talk to him."

Right. Talking to Lee the tea boy, the one-dimensional shadow that the Dai Li have warped Zuko into through torture and mindwashing, making him remember who he was by some far-flung miracle, all the while playing Azula's game and trying to forget the screams echoing off the walls…

She has the feeling that this whole endeavor is going to be a whole lot harder than just killing the Dai Li off.


End file.
